Emily and Matt Coping with bad experiences
by Anna1988
Summary: Emily and Matt meet in Los Angeles and fall in love and Emily slowly tells Matt all about her past and her past experiences and her present fears.
1. Reliving and Trust

March 2006

Matthew Flannery and Emily Lehman met when they were put together as a team by Cheryl Carrera in Los Angeles at the CNU. They became partners and Emily was at first very careful about approching Matt. She had a chrush on him since the first time she met him. But she was careful. She did not want to be dissapointed. After about a month they had a case where a monther of a cancer sich teenage boy had taken the doctors hostage and Matt had been able to talk the mother down to let them go. But during the negotiation both Matt and Cheryl have noticed that their was something wrong with Emily. They did not know what but they both were determined to find out what was wrong. After the case when they were back in the headquarters the talked to Emily in Cheryl´s office. "Emily this case really got to you. What is the matter?" "I am just sorry for the boy that is all." "Emily do not lie to us. You are not just sorry. There is more. You are reliving something. What is it?" "I am not reliving something." She then walks to the window and looks outside. She is crying and Cheryl give Matt a sign to leave the two of them alone. Matt leaves the room and Cheryl approches Emily. "Emily talk to me. Please" "I grew up with two older and two younger sisters. Grace Hillary and Rose Cheryl were older and Chloe Aliana and Leigh Naomi were younger. My parents passed away too. My father in 1990 and my mother in 1992 both of leukemia. Like my sisters. Grace in 1992, Rose in 1994, Chloe in 1998 and Leigh 2000. My sisters all died with 20. You were right I was reliving. They all fought and all suffered and died. I could not prevent it from happening. "Emily they died because they were sick. You could not prevent it. There was nothing you could have done. Stop blaming yourself. It is not your fault." "I know but it sometimes feels that way." After Emily has calmed down a little Matt reenters Cheryl´s office and sees Emily in Cheryl´s arms crying her eyes out. Cheryl tells Matt the whole story. "It is all my fault. I could not save them Matt." "Emily they died because they were sick. It is not your fault. There death saved them from more pain. But remember they are watching you and no one can take away the love you still have for them and no one can take away your memories about them.

The enxt day Matt takes Emily home from work and on Emily´s request the go by the cemetary. At the family grave. "Matt I want you to meet my family." He can see how much time she seems to spend here. He can see by the way the grave is taken care of. The family grave where he can read:

Patrick Lehman8 Feb 1945-17 Feb 1990

Susann Emily Lehman2 Aug 1949-17 Aug 2002

Grace Hillary Lehman3 Mar 1972-17 Mar 1992

Rose Cheryl Lehman6 Apr 1974-17 Apr 1994

Chloé Aliana Lehman1 Jun 1978-17 Jun 1998

Leigh Naomi Lehman7 Jul 1980-17 Jul 2000

He was impressed how much she seemed to work at the grave but on the other hand he was worried that she worked to much at the grave. "That is what I wanted to show you." He sees that she is holding back tears and says: "You do not have to prove anything infront of me. You can let out your feelings. It is OK." She starts to cry and Matt pulls her into a hug for which she is really grateful at that point. He takes her home where she is still crying and Matt gets the impression that she still has not recovered. He comforts her more and they end up in bed together.

The next morning. "Emily I am sorry that I took advantage of you last night." "Matt it is OK. I needed it. Besides I love you Matt." "I love you to Emily." "I cannot be alone anymore. I am glad to have you in my life."

As the weeks pass Cheryl has been notified about their relationship and to her surprise she can cope better with cases including children and sick people and parents and if she has a week moment she can be sure that Matt is at her side. He is really good for her.


	2. Preparing for the baby

Oktober 2006

Emily is now four months oregnant and has her cravings. She and Matt are really excited about the baby and Matt is a little ober protective of Emily. Matt alsways dreamed of having his own family. Emily was not really the one who had wanted children at first but now that this little human being was growing inside her she was excited and wanted the baby too.

Emily had started to wear pregnancy clothes to hide it a little. She and Matt are also aware that she will not be able to work as a negotiator in two months because of the baby.

"Emily are you alright?" "Yeah!" "Yeah right." "OK. I surrender. I do not want to stop working as a negotiator. I know it might indanger the baby. But I do not want to give up my job." "Emily it´s the protocol." "I do not care what the protocol says. I want to keep working as a negotiator." "Emily please. You have to think about the baby and besides you do not have an other oppurtunity." "I know. I just do not want to give up my job permanently." "No one said that honey." "Thank God."

After eating at their favorite restaurant they returned home and went to bed soon.


	3. A new mother

5 months later in March 2007

Emily has just given birth to their first child. They had a daughter named Grace Hillary. She was named after Emily´s sister Grace Hillary who died in 1992 with 20 of Leukemia. She was born on March 13th 2007 at Sinai Medical Center.

Emily was sleeping now. Matt whent to the hallway to tell the team that they had a daughter and the team and Matt entered the room after that. "What is her name Emily?" asked Lia. Matt looked at Emily for consent and Emily said. "Tell them the whole story we already told Cheryl. Please Matt it is OK." "Emily grew up with two older and two younger sisters. Her parents and her four sister all died of Leukemia between 1990 and 2002. Hillary Grace was her oldest sister who died 1992. We named her after her." Matt looks back at Emily and sees tears shimmering in her eyes. "Are you alright Emily?" "Yeah Cheryl I am OK. I just miss my parents and my sisters. They deserved to now their niece and grand-daughter. The team notices that it is hard on Emily and says goodbye. All except Cheryl. Matt sees that Emily just needs to talk to Cheryl and leaves them alone to grab a coffee. He meets the team who still there on the hallway. "Matt is Emily really OK?" "Yeah Lia she is really OK. She has been through a hard time but she is fine." "I cannot and do not want to imagine how hard it has been on her." "Yeah. Her father died in 1990, Grace in 1992, Cheryl in 1994, Aliana in 1998, Naomi in 2000 and her mother in 2002." "Her poor mother had to bury everyone except Emily. That is horrible." "You are right Lia. Emily is afraid that the same thing might happen to her." "Let us hope that it will not happen to you." "I hope it will not happen wot us."

During that time in Emily´s room. "Emily are you really alright?" "Yeah. I am just scared that the same things might happen to me. The same things my mother went through when whe had to bury her whole family, except me." "Emily we will do everything we can to prevent that. Matt loves you and you are happy with him. Now you are a happy family and if you need someone to talk. You know where you can find me right?" "Cheryl I know where to find you. There is something I need to tell you." "What?" "Since I came to Los Angeles you have always been there for me. Not in a way friend does. But in a way a mother does. I concider you my second mother if that is alright with you." "It sure is." "I also want our children to concider you as their grandmother." "That is absolutly alright with me. I am here if you need me."

After another fifteen minutes Cheryl left and the team went back to the CNU. Matt came back and found a sleeping Emily with their baby daughter in her arms.


	4. Family understands the job

April 2007

Emily is still on maternity leave and shbe is becoming accustomed to the fact of being a mother. She enjoys the time with Grace and that she is able to take care of her. Matt is working and when he is at home he is over protective of Emily and Grace.

One day Matt and Emily have invited the family and the team. After they have all eaten lunch they sit down in the livingroom and Carmen, Matt´s sister, asks "why are we all here?" "Because we want to a few paople something. We want to ask two people something. We want to ask Lia and Andrew if you want to become the godparents of Grace." "Sure big brother." "I am honored Emily." "We also want to tell you who will act as Grace´s maternal grandmother." Emily smiles at Cheryl and says." It is Cheryl. She will act as Grace´s maternal Grandmother." Cheryl gets up, sits down next to Emily and give Emily gives Cheryl a hug. "Thank you Cheryl for doing that." "Remember what I promised you in the hospital? I intend to keep my promise. Unless Matt gets me killed on the job." "You I will not do that intentionly." "I know you will not Matt. Speaking of the job. I just got an SMS we have a hostage situation down the road. Lia set everything up here and Emily will help us from here." "You know I will Cheryl." "Matt, Duff, Frank lets move. Frank call your team. A father has taken his wife and three children hostage and has them at gunpoint." "Cheryl the local police just sent us an videofeed of the situation." Cheryl and the rest of the team look at it. "Oh my God." "The kids are 2, 5 and 7. She is a psychologist and he is oncologist. I have not found anything so far." "Thanks Lia." Cheryl and the three men leave and walk over to the house. After an hour Matt is not coming forward and Emily talk to him. "Matt common grounds. He is a father and so are you." Matt does as Emily tells him and it helps a lot because he lets the children go. But he will not let his wife go. By know Lia has found out that he is suspected of using drungs. After all other things do not help Matt goes in and he lets the wife go instead. Matt´s family is looking at the monitor now too and sees Matt going in. "What is he doing Emily?" "He is going in and in return he let his wife go to. Now Cheryl and I will work from the outside and Matt will try to work on him from inside." Cheryl talks to Emily over the earpiece and tells her to negotiate with the HRT from her house. "I will negotiate from here and will try to get him to give up." Lia looks up worried. "Lia Duff will not be hurt and neither will Matt." "Emily I know that. I am worried about Cheryl." "Why?" "This was sent to her yesterday. It is from her ex-fiancée. He is stalking her." "Lia. Matt and I will take care of that after this." "Thank you Emily." She turns to the family and says. "Do me a favour and be quiet and let me do my job." "OK." After two more hours the HRT has given up and Matt is free. Matt and the team come back to the house and Matt´s family hug him and he says. "Guys I am OK. That is normal. Emily and I always go in if that is the only option to save the hostages." "Oh my God" says Matt´s mother Eileen. Emily comes into the room and says. Cheryl can the team and I talk to for a moment." "Sure." "The team all come to Emily and they settle in one part of the livingroom. Matt´s family in the other part of the livingroom. "Lia showed me this letter. Said that you received it yesterday. Cheryl are there more letters?" "Yes. He is my ex-fiancée. Matt knows him." "I sure do. He is a very bad guys. We will help you Cheryl we are your team and you are our family." "Thank you Matt. Someone broke into my house today." "Duff and I will go over with the team." "Thanks Frank." "Cheryl you will sleep here until your house is safe again." "No." "Cheryl please for me" says Emily. "OK." They walk back to the family. "Everything alright?" "Yeah. Just work related." Cheryl looks out of the livingroom window and turns pale. "What is it Cheryl?" "Matt do you see the guy in the car?" "That is Henry. Cheryl and Lia you stay here. Emily and I will look at it." "I will get my gun." A moment later Matt and Emily are ready to go and Cheryl stops them. "Matt let me go." "No. The last time you spoke to you you had to be admitted to the hospital. Emily and I will go. Take care of Lia and Grace." "I will." Matt and Emily apprehend him and call local police to have him arrested after that they come back to their house. "Cheryl he is in police custody." "Thank you." "You are welcome." After that eat dinner all together and then Matt´s family leaves and Lia and Cheryl sleep at their house. They put Grace to bed and sit down in the livignroom with Lia and Cheryl.


	5. Makeing Emily happy

June 2007

Grace Hillary is now three months old. Emily has started to work again.

While working on a case Emily speaks to Matt. "Matt do you think that we can leave on time today?" "I think so." He sees that Emily has a hard time concentrating on her work since it this Friday of her first week back at work. Matt decides to go talk to Cheryl.

He enters Cheryl´s office. "Matt is everyrthing alright?" "Would it be possible to try to make sure that Emily and I can leave on time when we do not have a case." "Matt we are all working a little overtime." "I know Cheryl. If we have a situation during the time we normally stop working we will stay until it is resolved. But on the other days I would like to leave on time. So would Emily." "Matt is there a problem?" "No. I have noticed over the last few days that it is hard for Emily to accept that she cannot have Grace around the whole time. It is hard on her not to have our daughter around the whole time. I just want to make it easier for her Cheryl." "Ok. You can leave on time when we do not have a situation at that time." "Thank you." "You are welcome. And Matt I have noticed it too that Emily has problems concentrating the whole day. I can see too that it is hard on her not to have your daughter around. So I agree and hope that it will help Emily." "I hope that it will help her too Cheryl." Cheryl calls Emily into her office and tells her what she has decided. "Thank you mom. If it is alright for you when I call you that?" "It is Emily. No worries." "Thank you so much mom. Thank you Matt." "You are more than welcome sweetheart" says Matt. Cheryl walks around her desk and stops infront of Emily. "Emily you are my knew daughter. Honey I love you and if it makes you feel better to leave on time as often as possible to be with Grace I am happy to make that happy." Emily had tears shimmering in her eyes now and Cheryl pulled her into a hug. "Thank you Cheryl." "You are welcome. Go home guys. It is almost time." "Thank you Cheryl. Emily and I would love that." "Yes Cheryl I would love that too." "Go home to your daughter. They leave Cheryl´s office and they go home to their daughter.

When they arrived at home and Emily was playing with their daughter Matt knew immediately that he had done the right thing by asking Cheryl. He saw how relaxed she was and remembered how unrelaxed she was at work. It was worth risiking getting yelled at by Cheryl. Emily was happy. That is all that mattered to him.


	6. Discussing

October 2007

Grace was now seven months old and Emily was by now copeing with the new situation that she can not have Grace around the whole time. Matt was glad that she was able to cope with the new situation now because he had to admit that he has been worried about her some times. She was planning in her head. She wanted to have a large family herself like she had when she was a child.

" Matt have you ever thought about more children?" "Why?" "I am just asking." "Do you want more children?" "I sure do. I grew up with four sister. I want to have a large family too." "Emily we do not need to rugh it. We have time. We are still young." "I know I am just thinking." "But Grace is too young for a brother or a sister right now." "Well not really. She would be 17 or 18 months when we have the second baby. But I agree with you that I do not want the kids to be to close in age. But I also do not want them to be to far apart in age." "I know. How about we wait for until she is one. Then we can always try for another one." "Alright. I love you Matt." "I love you too Emily."

The next morning Cheryl sees her daughter and cannot get past the impression on her face. "Emily can I talk to you?" "Sure." She walks into Cheryl´s office and sits down acroyy from her. "Emily are you alright?" "I am more than alright. Matt and I decided that we want to try for another baby when Grace is one in March." "I see." "Mom there really is nothing else. I promise you." "Alright. You want more children honey do you?" "I do want more children mom. I grew up with four sisters Cheryl. I do not Grace to be a single child." "I see."

After Emily has left Cheryl´s office Matt enters it. "Cheryl I guess Emily has told you about our conversation yesterday?" "She has. She does not want grace to be a single child. She wants more children." "I know. So do I. If it were only Emily´s choice she would be pregnant again by now. I was gladly able to prevent that."

"Matt I know that you are worried about her and so am I. She has been through a lot of things. She just wants to be a good mother. She wants to compensate what she has been through." "I know Cheryl. I know. I promise you that I will do everything I can to whor her that you can compensate the things you have been through in a different way too." "Thank you Matt." "You are welcome Cheryl"


	7. Surprise

May 2008

Emily´s wish of a second child seems to have come true. Emily has not been feeling well lately and went to her doctor who confirmed what she had already suspected. She was indeed pregnant again. She was happy but she did not know how and when to tell Matt and Cheryl. She drove to work and walked direct into Ceryl´s office without thinking. Something drove him into her office. She did not know what. "Hey!" "Emily!" "Could you call Matt in here too." "Sure." She called Matt who came in a minute later and sat down next to Emily.

"I just came back from my doctor´s appointment. I am siy weeks pregnant. The baby is due in January." Matt smiled at her and leaned over to kiss her. "That is wonderful." "It is Matt." "Congratulations you too." "Thanks Cheryl!" "Thank you mom!" Emily had finally found a second family. But she would never fergot her real family. Shw was gompletly happy again.


	8. Do they want to know

October 2008

Emily was now six months pregnant and seemed to be glowing in her pregnancy. Aside from that she was now on desk duty and was out of the danger zome. She mostly worked with Lia now. Matt temporarly worked wikth Cheryl loike during Emily´s first pregnancy.

"Emily do you knw what it will be?" "No." "Do you want to know?" "No we want to wait. We want it to be a surprise." "You definatly look happy." "Lia I am happy."

They did not notice Cheryl walk in on them. "You are happy sweetheart." "Cheryl!" "Lia!" "Emily!" "You are right. I am happy mom. Do not doubt that." Cheryl walked up to her and pulled her into a hug. "I know Emily." Right at that moment the baby kicked Emily. "That hurt." "Did the baby kick you?" "Yeah. It did."

Later that day while Matt was sitting at his desk Emily walked up to him. "Hey!" He looked up at his wife. "Hey!" She leaned down for a kiss. "Emily you up for lunch?" "Sure." They walked to the cafeteria to eat lunch. Cheryl saw them walk out and could not help but smile as she saw them.

In the evening Grace gave Emily a hard time because she did not understand that there was a baby in Emily´s belly. "Grace! Stop it now!" The little girl did not stop and when Matt entered the livingroom he saw grace hitting her mothers stomach. He snatched her from Emily´s lap. "Grace there is a baby in mommys tummy. You will hurt the baby and mommy when you hit her." She did not understand what was going on and was fussy.

Because it was her bedtime anyway Matt brought her to bed and then returned to the livingroom. He sat down next to his wife. "Did she hurt you?" "No. But she has to learn that she is not aloud to do that." "Yes. We will teach her." "We will." She gave Matt a lovely kiss. She pulled away when she needed air. "Matt have you ever thought about finding out the sex?" "Do you want to know?" "Maybe. Do you?" "Only when you are comfortable with that." "I do not know yet." "Honey we still have three more months. Relax and do not rush yourself." "Ok." She stiffled a yawn. "Tired?" "Exhausted. Pregnancy is tiring." He helped her to the bedroom and helped her get changed. He helped her into bed and then changed himself. When he returned he found Emily already sleeping. He joined her and wrapped his arms around her.


	9. Second daughter

January 2009

Emily was still weak and sleepiy but she was happy to. She nad Matt had become the parents of a second little girl. She had not beed named yet but they would name her as soon as Cheryl and Grace would arrive. Matt was sitting at her bed holding her hand and their little girl was sleeping in her baby crib. When Cheryl and Grace arrived the little girl was squirming on her grandma´s arm. Cheryl set her down and she ran to the bed Emily was lying in. "Mama!" "Hey sweety." Matt sat her on the bed next to Emily." "Hey Cheryl!" "Hey! How is my second granddaughter?" "Healthy and sleeping." "Does she have a name yet?" "No." Matt picked the little girl up and gave her to Cheryl. Grace was watching suspiciously. "Baby!" "Yes Grace that is your baby sister." Matt took her from Emily while Cheryl gave the little girl back to Emily.

After a while Emily thought is might be the right time to talk about the name. "I had a sister named Cheryl Rose. I thought that I might want to name her Rose Cheryl. Just like we turned aroudnthe name from Hilary Grace to Grace Hilary. What do you think Matt?" "You really want that name right?" "Well yeah. I mean it has my second mothers name in it too." "I know. So Grace that is your sister Rose Cheryl." "Thank you Matt." "You are welcome honey." "I am honored to have my name in her name Emily." "Well you are my mother now. My second mother." "Thank you." She goes to sit down on the bed and pulls her into a hug. "You are welcome."

A little later the team and Matt´s family arrive. They want to tell the family who they wnt to be godparents of Rose Cheryl. "Guys we would like you to meet Rose Cheryl. We would like Lia and Carmen to become the parents of Rose Cheryl. "I am honored Emily and I know why you want to have constant godparents in case something happens to you." "Right." "I would like to be her godmother." "Thank you Carmen."


	10. Family evening

March 2007

Rose Cheryl, who has been born on 11th January, was now two months old. Grace had just turned two and was a active little girl who loved to hide from her parents. She sue was still a little jealous of her sister. Emily enjoyed staying at home with her daughters, even though Grace still went to daycare in the mornings, so she would not have trouble when Emily went back to work in a month. She dreaded to go back to work somehow but she also missed her work. Matt knew that she had a hard time being away fromt heir daughters but she also had a hard time being away from work

"Emily?" "I am here." Matt walked to the porch and found her reading a book while their daughters were taking their nap. "Why are you home already?" "Cheryl wanted me to have a nica family evening with my three ladies." "OK." He leaned down to gíve her a sweet kiss and she answered it happily and smiling. He knew that she pulled strength out of moments kike those. Strength that she needed during her days with Grace and Rose. He knew that. He sometimes thought that it was unfair that he was not able to take time of too, to help Emily with the kids. But he knew that it was not possible. But he hoped that he would still be able to spent a lot of time with them.


	11. Almost back to work

April 2009

Emily had a hard time infront of her because Rose would start Daycare in a few days and Emily would go back to work in a few days. Matt noticed that she was dreading the moment and the day where she would have to give Rose to the teacher of the daycare.

"Emily are you alright?" "Yeah. I am just doing a little thinking." "About Rose going to the FBI Daycare?" "Yes. I am worried." "I know." He pulled her closer to his chest and kissed her temple. " She and Grace will be alright in the Daycare. Grace loves it and was three months when she started too." "I know. But I think that I will never get used to the first few weeks back at work and our baby´s first weeks in Daycare Matt." "I know Emily. But it will get better after a while.-" "I know. It is just not easy." "I know Emily. No one siad it would be easy., Sweetheart I would want to have them aropund the whole time too. But we have to work Emily. We need the money to provide for them." "You are right Matt." He pulled her into him even more knowing that the first two weeks would be hard for her.


	12. Back to work

April 2009

Today is Emiyl´s first day back at work and Rose´s first day at Daycare. They drove to the FBI Building to drop the kids of at the daycare. Wne Emily had to give Rose to the teacher of the daycare the emotions came back to her. Matt wrapped an arms around her and coaxed her give Rose to the other woman. He then pulled her into a hug and led her out of the Daycare. In the elevatir Matt noticed a few tears wet his shirt. When they arrived their fllor they left the elevator and Matt led her into Cheryl´s office without knocking. He sat Emily down ona achair and closed the blinds. "What is it Matt?" He sat down next to Emily who slowly looked up at Cheryl. "Cheryl the emotions caught up with her when she had to give Rose up for the first time." "I understand Matt." She got up and walked around her desk and leaned against the edge of it right infront of Emily. "Are you going to be alright Emily?" "I think so. As long as Matt will be at my side." "He will be with you. Right Matt?" "Of yourse Emily. I will be at your side the whole time." "Thank you." Matt knew that she needed him to be close by.


	13. Routine

June 2009

Over the last two months they went back to their normal routine they had established when Grace was little, too. They went home after their shift if they did not have a case and that gave Matt and Emily their family evenings. It was what Emily needed after a long day at work. It was her way of forgetting and getting her strength back. Matt knew that she needed it and did everything he could to ensure that she got that time.

"Day go play with me." "Grace I will play with you in a minute." "OT." "She definitly has you wrapped around her finger. She loves you Matt." "She loves you too Emily." "I know. I just have to take care of Rose now." "OK." Matt played with Grace while Emily sat on the couch feeding Rose watching them. She loved to watch Matt and Grace play.


	14. Family vacation

July 2009

Matt, Emily, Cheryl and the girl would go on a vacation together, as a family. They planned to go to the beach outside onf L.A. Emily was already packing the things for them and the girls.

When they were at the beach on the vacation for the first time Grace and Cheryl loved to build sandcastles. Emily, Rose and Cheryl watched them from the blanket under their umbrella. It was the life Emily dreamed of. Vacation on the beach with her family and her mother. "I am glad you agreed to come too." "I am glad to Emily. I am." She looked at Rose who had been crawling on the blanket. "Look. I think she is asleep." "Emily looked at her daughter. "You are right about that." They smiled at how Rose was sleeping on the blanket.

When Matt came back with grace a little while later they ate their sandwiches and put Grace and Rose in their stroller. Grace fell asleep a few minutes and the three adults enjoyed the time at the beach. Matt was happy to see Emily so relaxed again after a long time.


	15. Weekend away

October 2009

Grace and Rose both loved going to Daycare. Emily and Matt had a lot of work to do and were happy that they could leave their kids in skilled hands and knew that they would be safe. Aside from that they and Cheryl were a normal and happy family.

"Emily!" "Yeah." "I think we should go visit my parents over the weekend." "Are you sure. I mean we have a lot of work to do at the office. We had so many situations this week that we were not able to finish the paper work yet." "Emily I know. But I think that it would be nice and we could both use the weekend." "Alright."

On Friday evening they went to his parents house. When they arrived Emily brought their daughters to bed. Whiloe she was doing that Matt talked to his parents. "Matt why are you not saying goodnight to your daughters?" "Because I want to talk to you. Could you watch the kids tomorrow morning. I want to do something with Emily alone." "We would love to watch them." "Thank you." He then walked upstairs to say goodnight to his daughters.

When he and Emily were in bed later that night he talked to her. "Mom and dad are going to watch the gils tomorrow morning." "Why?" "Because I have a surprise for you." "What?" "Emily I told you that it is a surprise. You will have to wait." "Ok."

The next mornign after they had eaten braekfast as a family Matt and Emily left their daughters with Matt´s parents. They drove a while before they stoped on a parking lot. "Where are we?" "At the lake." He got out of the car and then helped Emily out of the car, too. They walked to the lake. They started walking the trail that led around the lake. Matt knows that Emily loves their life in Los Angels but he can see that she is definitly more relaxed while out of the big city and in the outer suburbs. She definitly fells comfortable in the nature. "This lake nis definitly beautiful." "You say that everytime honey." "I know. It is just such a big difference to Los Angeles. It is so quiet here. I mean where we are living it is quiet too but it is also so peaceful here." "I know. When I was young I loved to come to this lake here." "I can imagine."

After a while they sat down on a bench and just looked out onto the lake. Emily was leaning against him with her feet on the bench next to her. Matt had his arm wrapped around her. What Matt did not notice was that Emily had fallen asleep against his chest. When he wanted to get up he noticed it and carefully woke her up. "Emily!" She stirred a little and then sat up. "I guess I fell asleep." "You did." "Sorry" "That is alright. Guess you were definitly tired right?" "Yeah. I guess, in Los Angeles I did not really realize how tired I was." "That is definitly true honey." He pulled her towards him for a kiss. "Emily we have to get back." "I know." He got up and helped her up. They then walked back to the car. On their way back Emily fell asleep again in the car. When they arrived at his parents house he carried Emily to the guest room and covered her with a blanket.

"Matt is Emily sleeping?" "Yeah. She already fell alseep on a bench at the lake. She fell asleep again in the car. I guess she is more tired then she thought." "She needs to get more sleep Matt." "I know. Why do you not try to tell her. She just cannot stop worrying about the girls. I mean after everything that has happened to her parents and sisters." "I know Matt. I will talk to her later." "Thank you mom." "Your father and the girls are on the playground." "Alright."

When Emily woke up and joined them a few hours later she definitly looked better then before. She sat down next to Matt in the livingroom. "Emily I would like to talk to you." "Sure." "I want you to get more sleep. You need it." "Eileen I am getting enough sleep." "I know that you fell asleep in the car and you slept for hours upstairs, too." "Eileen I amk alright." "Emily I know that you are worried about the girls and what might happen to them but you cannot allow your worries to consume you. You need to get enough sleep, too." "Could we please just drop this conversation." Matt took her hand in his. "Sweetheart you know that mom is right. You were totally exhausted earlier. You have to give yourself a brake." "I can´t Matt." She looked at him and he could see her pleading with him to drop the conversation.

"Emily!" "Fine. I will think about it." "Thank you." Matt knows that it will take some time for Emily to realize that she needs more sleep in the night.


	16. Worry

November 2009

Emily knew that she sometimes really worried to much about the things that might and could happen to their family. She also knows that she needs to sleep more during the nights even if that is hard for her to change her routines and habits. She decided to try to get more sleep during he nights and to try to not worry so much anymore. At least not as much as does now.

Matt on his side was worried about his wife and knew that he had to help her in any way he could. He needed to help her to be able to stop worrying so much about the things that could or might happen some day. That is why he decided to talk to Cheryl.

When he entered Cheryl´s office she was surprised to see him. "Matt!" He sat down across from her. "Cheryl I need your help." "For what?" He did not know how to say the things he wanted to discuss with her. "I noticed over the last few weeks, wel actually even longer, that Emily does not sleep a lot during the night. She does not sleep well because she worrying very much about things that might and/or could happen to our family someday." "I did not know about that. You should have informed me earlier." "I know. I am sorry." "So how can I help you?" "Honestly I do not know Cheryl. She used to be happy and sleep well during the night but since about two months she does not sleep very well during the night. I mean we had zthe 7th aniversary of her mothers death on August 17th aside from that I do not know what else could have triggered that." "Do you want me to talk to her Matt?" "It might help so yes I think it would be a good idea." "Alright." "Thank you Cheryl."

After Matt had left her office Cheryl tried to reach Emily. She made an appointment with her and a café which is close by for the afternoon.

When Cheryl affrived at the café Emily was already waiting for her. Cheryl sat down next to Emily and ordered a coffee. "Why did you want to meet with me Cheryl?" Cheryl drank a sip of coffee. "Emily I know that you probably do not want to talk about it but I think that we should talk about your fear of the things which could happen some day." Emily was actually a little surprised to hear that from her mother. "Why?" "Emily I want to help you." "Did Matt talk to you." "Yes he talked to me because he is really worried. He thought that it might be easier to talk to a woman first. He did not want to pressure you." "Great." "To be honest I have been worried about you for a while now, too. At first I thought that it is nothing but after Matt talked to me I knew that I needed to talk to you." Emily drank a bit of her tea and then looked at Cheryl. She knew that she only wanted to help her. Cheryl covered Emily´s hand with hers and made Emily look at her. "Emily talk to me. We just want to help you." "Mom I am worried. I admit it. I am worried about the girls future and that they might have leukemia some day, too." "Emily they are not sick. You an Matt are not sick either. We cannot keep worrying about that because we cannot predict the future. There is nothing we can do about that. You can only hope that they will never have cancer. Matt is worried to but he did not tell you because he did not want to worry you even more." Emily looked at her second mother and knew that she was telling the truth. "I know that you are right but it is hard to get rid of your fear. But I will promise you that I will talk to Matt and will try to work on it." "Thank you."

In the evening Matt and Emily had brought the girls to bed and were sitting on the couch in the livingroom. "How was your talk with Cheryl?" Emily looked at him. "It was alright. I was surprised to hear from mom that you had talked to her." Matt took her hand in his. "Honey I did not want to pressure you and I thought that it might be earsier to talk to your mother first." "You were right that it was good to talk to mom first. I dod not think that it will be completely easy to get rid of the big fear but I promuised mom and I will promise you now that I will do everything I can to try to get rid of it." "That is all that we are asking Emily."

Matt was glad that she was better after the conversation she had had with her mother and he hoped that she would sleep better during the night from now on and that her fear would not be so big after now.


	17. Long negotiation

January 2010

Over the past few months Emily has had a lot of conversations with Matt and Cheryl because of her fear and how to work against it. She had made progress over the time and both Matt and Cheryl were proud of her. She had really changed over the past few months, in a positive way.

At their office they were called to a very difficult case. A case that could be difficult for Emily because it took place in a oncological ward at a hospital in Los Angeles. Cheryl and Matt both looked at each other when Cheryl informed Matt. "Do you think we can send Emiyl there Matt?" "I just hope that it will not trigger her fear to return. Aside from that I think that she is fully capable of working the case Cheryl." "Alright you and Emily go there." "Ok."

After a long negotiation and after they had finished the papaerwork they picked up the girls and went home. Matt could see that the case had left traces on Emily and that worried him a little. He hoped that it would not make the fear return. While they were playing with their daughters in the livingroom Matt tried to talk to her. "Are you alright Emily?" "Yeah. I mean I can understand the desperation the father was in. I mean I have been there but taken hostages is not an option." "Right. I know that the case brought back old memories but I trust you to talk to me when the big fear returns Emily." "Matt I am over it but if it returns I will try to talk to you." "Thaank you." Matt knew that it could easily happen that the fear would return. He just hoped that she would talk to him.


	18. Third Pregnancy

May 2010

Matt´s wish had turned out to be the right onw, because the big fear Emily had had did not return after the case in the oncological ward, instead one of Emily´s wishes had come true. Emily is now four months pregnant with their third child. They were happy and their daugher Grace already unterstood that she will have a brother of a sister in Novemeber and she was already really excited about it. She kept asking about the baby and Emily, Matt and Cheryl tried to explain to her as good as they could what she wanted to know. Like during the first two pregnancies Emily and matt had decided to not find out if they were having a girl or a boy because they wanted it to be a surprise.

Emily would stop working in the field when she is six months pregnant and then Cheryl will work with Matt in thwe field again. Matt, Cheryl and Emily had been happy with that working schedule and thought that it was the best idea. On the other side they were already or to say it ina better way they were still prepareing Lia and Duff´s wedding which would take place in July. Grace would be a flower girl and Emily would be her maid of honor.

The whole team was working, planning and was happy and everyone hoped that it would stay that way for a long time.


	19. Jealous sister

August 2010

Now six months pregnant Emily had stopped to work in the field and instead Cheryl took her place in the field. Their baby is very very active. Way more active then Grace and Rose had been. The baby was giving Emily a very hard time what worried Matt very much. It broke Matt´s heart to see her suffering so much because their baby was kicking so much and harly allowed her to get some rest.

What also made Matt worry was that Rose hated to see her mothers stomach growing and was starting to very jealous of the growing baby. Matt and Emily often had to have a few words with Rose because of that. She was only 19-months old but she was already a little girl with her own little head. Both Matt and Emily hoped that it would get better when the baby would be born and Rose would get used to not being the little one anymore.


	20. A third daughter

November 2010

On November 10th 2010 Emily had given birth to their third daughter. It had been a very hard and long labor. Their daughter already had her own head and had decided to torture her mother a little. But now that she was there the pain was forgotten. Matt and Emily had decided to announce her name when Matt´s family, their daughters and the team were there. They would come by in the evening. Then the girl would be almost a day old.

In the evening when they all came by Matt spoke. "Guys. As you all know we named our first two daughters after Emily´s older sisters Hilary Grace and Cheryl Rose and turned the names into Grace Hilary and Rose Cheryl. We had a long discussion how to name our third child if it would be a girl. The options were to name her after Emily´s next younger sister who was born in 1978 and died in 1998 or to name her after her grandmothers. In the end we decided to name her after Aliana Chloe Emily´s sister who had been born in 1978 and had died in 1998. We changed the name into Chloe Aliana.

I know that it might be hard to understand why we did not name her after her grandmothers but it is Emily´s way of paying a tribute to her family who she loved very much and with who she had fought for years to overcome the cancer which, as you all know, had not turned out to be a success in each of the six cases. That is why I am asking you to respect our decision as to honor Emily´s family and try to give Emily peace.

As for the godparents. We want one person to be a constant godparent to all the children we will ever have. Grace´s godparents are our colleague Lia and my brother Andrew. Rose´s godparents are alos our colleague Lia and my sister Carmen. So we decided to again ask our colleague Lia and by sister-in-law Claire to be Chloe´s godparents. If that is alright with the two of you." "Matt and Emily you know that I already gave you my word to be the godmother of all your children if you want me to." "We know Lia thank you." "You are welcome Emily." "Matt and Emily I would be honored to be your daughters godmother." "Thank you Claire."

They were a happy family with three little daughters and with family and friends that would help them in any way they could if they would ever need the help.


	21. Christmas

December 2010

Chloe is now six weeks old and it will be Christmas in a few days. Emily, Matt and Cheryl are preparing everything for that day. Emily wanted everything to be perfect. Emily´s mother made little christmas angel´s for everyone of her children, for her husband and for herself. Emily still had them and she knew how to make them. So she made one for grace, for Rose, for Chloe, for matt and for her second mother Cheryl.

A day before Christmas she and her family decorated the tree and she and Matt put the Angels on the tree. Each carrying the name of the person it was made for. It was another way of Emily to let her family take place in their life. It helped her that they seemed to be there with them and that she had something she could remember them by. Mattt knew it is important to her that the Angels are on the Christmas tree and he never told her to not put them on the chrsitmas tree. He would never forbid her that. Cheryl did not forbid her that either.

Also Emily did a lot of baking during the time before christmas just like her beloved mother used to do it. Her mother had taught her all the receipes and how to bake and prepare the cookies. Emily held onto that tradition and valued it very high.


	22. Working again

Febuary 2011

Matt knows that Emily has a very trying time ahead of her. She will start working again this month and the first few weeks with their little daughter in Daycare will be as hard as they have been with Grace and Rose. Matt knows that and so do Emily and Cheryl.

"Matt!" "Yeah." Do we really have Febuary already?" "Unfortunately we do honey. I am sorry." "It is not your fault Matt." "I know." He pulled her into a hug. "You will be alright." "Yeah." Matt knew that Emily was not totally satisfied with that answer but he also knew that she would never put her sadness into the public. He was still worried about her.

On Emily´s first day back at work they met with Cheryl at the daycare to make it easier for Emily. They dropped Grace and Rose of in their group and then went to Chloe´s new group. It was really hard for Emily to give her little daughter to the teacher would had taken care of Grace and Rose at the beginning, too. So she knew Emily and Emily knew her. That made it a little easier.

After she had given Chloe to the woman Matt and Cheryl led her out of the Daycare and when they were in Cheryl´s office, the Daycare was is in the same building as their floor, Emily allowed the tears to flow. Matt just held her and let her cry knowing that she would feel better after and knowing that it would only be the first few weeks were he would see his wife sad and with tears in the morning until she would get used to give a way a little baby every morning. After that it would be easier for her again.


	23. Sentimentel

March 2011

Emily was comfortable now with Chloe being in Daycare with her sister Rose. Grace is visiting the Kindergarden now. Matt noticed that she was relaxed again now and that everything seemed to be normal again. Matt and Cheryl were happy about it because Emily was smiling a lot again.

"Honey!" Emily turned around in her chair. "Hey Matt." He sat down on the corner of her desk."He looked at her closely for any sign of uncompfort. "You look happy.." "I am. I am happy again. I just had to get used to Chloe being in Daycare. You know how it is." "I sure do. You just need your time to get ued to one of our little ones being away from you for so long." "Yeah." He leaned down lightly touched her armd and then kissed her temple. She leaned into him and did not want the touch to end. Matt noticed it.

"Honey how about we take a break for a minute?" "Yeah." He helped her up and led her to the break room and closed the door. "Honey are you alright?" "Yeah. Just a little sentimental because of Grace´s death anniversary." She was always a little snetimental around the death anniversaries of her parents and sisters. "I know honey. It is alright. Every person has times where she or he is a little down why should it be different with you." "Right. I still do not like it be down in public. I hate it when other people see me vulnerable." "I know. But it happens to everyone Emily. Cheryl and I have felt down too. sometimes. Everyone has the right to feel down once in a while. You do not have to be ashamed about that sweetheart." "Thank you." He pulled her into a hug and kissed her sweetly.

The next day was Saturday and they had decided to go to the park with the kids. "Mommy can we go to the playground?" "Grace we will go to the playground in the park alright?" "Yeah." Emily watched Grace run up nthe stairs and when Matt joined her they could hear her telling Rose that they would go to the playground in the park. Matt put a hand on the small of Emily´s back and Emily leaned into him and smiled because she was proud of her daughters. "She is already so grown up." "I know Emily. She is just four but she is so social and grown up already."

At the park the family first went to the park where Grace and Rose could play. They ran to the swingset and to the sand box. Matt and Emily sat down on a bench next to the playground with their two strollers, one for Chloe and Rose and the other for Grace. Chloe was sleeping in the stroller and Matt wrapped his arms around Emily and they watched their children. Emily laid her head on his shoulder and was happy to spend time with her family. Matt noticed that she was relaxing and did what he could to help her by massaging her neck. He also loved to watch his two oldest daughters play together on the playground.

After the kids were tired and they had eaten lunch they put Rose in her stroller next to Chloe and they put Grace in her own stroller and moved the back down so that they could sleep. Then Matt and Emily did their walk through the park and had time for thereselves to spend time with each other and to talk about things. They did this about once a month.

When they returned home in the evening after the whole day at the park the kids were tired after they had played on the playground twice. Matt and Emily prepared dinner and then ate with their children. After that they brought their children to bed and made sure that they were sleeping. They then returned to the livingroom and retired on the couch. "It was a nice day Matt. Thank you." "I am glad that you liked it. You needed it and so did the kids." "Yeah. We have not done that in a long time. We have to do that more often." "We will Emily. I will make sure of that." "Alright." She untangeled herself out of Matt´s arms and got up from the couch. "I am going to bed. Are you coming Matt?" "I will be there soon. I am just going to watch the news." "Alright." She leaned down and kissed him and then wen t to their master bedroom.

The next morning when Emily woke up she noticed that Matt was already up. She got up and went to the bathroom to freshen up. When she left the bathroom she went down to the kitchen to meet Matt who was already up. "Morning honey." "Morning Matt." He gave her a kiss which she voluntarily answered. When he pulled away he returned to continueing to prepare breakfast. "Do you need help?" "Emily I just want you to relax. Sit down. It will be finished in a minute. The kids are still sleeping." "Alright." She sat down at the kitchen table and watched her husband prepare breakfast and was happy that she was married to him and that they loved each other. As soon as the breakfast was ready Matt set the table and then he and Emily went upstairs to wake their daughters, to get them ready for the day, and to eat brakfast with them after that. They had planned to just enjoy their time together.


	24. Leave of Absence

May 2011

Emily and Matt are having marital problems. They are discussing things and are argueing about things the whole day. Their work has eaten their marriage and their had been discussions where they had even talked about divorce. They had reached a final point where they had to decide what to do. Matt and Emily still loved each other but there were still things that made them discuss and argue over everything.

"Emily!" "Cheryl!" Emily entered Cheryl´s office and sat down across from her. "Emily what is going on between you and Matt." "Nothing." "I thought you were happy." "We are happy Cherly." Cheryl looked at her a little questioning. "I do not know what heppened to us Cheryl. We were happy but everything just consumed us. I am worried that our marriage is ending Cheryl."

Cheryl walked around her desk and sat on the edge on it. "Emily Matt loves you with everything he has and he would do everything he can do protect you." "How do you know that?" "Emily about a week ago Matt and I had a conversation with a high Ranking officer who wanted to question your actions on your latest case." "So?" "Matt told him that the things he read are wrong and that he told you to do what you where doing and that ypou acted on his orders. He protected you because he loves you." "Is he getting punished?" "Yes. He will only get have of his payment for three months." "That is not fair." "I know Emily but he wanted it that way." Could you call him?" "Yeah."

When Matt entered Cheryl´s office she left the couple alone. Matt sat down on the empty chair next to Emily. "Matt why did you take the fall for me?" "I had to." "No you did not. You could have told them the truth Matt." He took her hands in made her look at him. "Sweetheart I did what I had to do. I did it because I love you and I wanted to protect you. I know that you would really suffer from the punishment." He cupped her face. "Honey you were not really yourself in between and I did not want to put more stress on you. You did not need it Emily."

She looked at him and knew that he did it in best intentions. "Matt but you do not need to protect me." "Emily listen to me. I grew up in a family, where my father always taught me to protect my wife and children in anyway I can and I am doing that. Please honey just let me do what I was taught. It can sometimes be helpful and better for you." "I understand Matt but I am just asking you to talk to me." "Alright." He pulled her towards her and kissed her temple carefully.

"Emily I know that you do not really want to talk about things that are on your mind but I am asking you to tell me what has been on your mind for the last few weeks." "I was thinking how it might be if I would start working part-time or how it would be if I would take a leave of absence for about half a year to spend with the children and to do other things, like going to the museum or doing some creative work at home in the cellar." Matt looked at her a little surprised. "When did you come up with that?" "I have been thinking about that for a while now but I was not sure if it would be a good idea for a while." "Are you sure now?" "No." He put his hand on her lower arm. "Emily take the time you need to decide if you want to do that or not." "Thank you." He knew that Emily would need time to decide.

The next morning Emily went to talk to Cheryl. "Cheryl I talked to Matt yesterday." "Alright?" "I want to take a leave of absence for three months." "Why?" "I want to pick the kids up early from Daycare and Kindergarden to spend more time with them. Also I want to do more other stuff like going to a museum or doing some creative work in our cellar. I just need somethin else, too Cheryl. When I return I want to continue with my crative work and do not want to loose it again. I will only work part-time when I return."

"That is a surprise Emily but if it allows you to work on your hobbys and spend more time with the children and if it will let you be happy I am willing to authorize it as far as I can." "Thank you." "I will make sure that you will be able to do the things they way you want to." "Thank you Cheryl" "Your welcome." "Thank you mom."

When Emily left her office she met Matt at his desk. "Matt!" "Hey!" "I just talked to mom. I will take a leave of absence for three months and after that I will only work part-time." Matt looked surprised. "Are you sure that that is what you want?" "Yes Matt that is what I want. I just need more time with the kids and need more time for my creative work and for myself." "I see." "I have to do it Matt." "I know. You know that I will support each decision you make as long as you are happy with it." "I am happy with it Matt." He got up and pulled her towards him to give her a kiss.

A week later Emily knows that she will start her leave of absence on the first of July and that she will return on the first of October. Matt could see that she was happier since she knew that she would take a leave of absence and would work part-time after that. He knew that she did the right thing because it let her be happy. That is what is the most important thing for him, that his family, especially his wife, is happy.


	25. Coming back to work

June 2011

She started her leave of absence but could not do it because she missed her job. She is now working again.

Emily was fighting a fight with herself and did not know what to do. She did not want to worry Matt and Cheryl but they had to know. She was thinking about stoping to work in the field and to onl,y teach instead. She had worked as a Crisis Negotiator for 13 years. First in Seattle from 1998-2005 and since 2005 in Los Angeles. she wants to return to negotiating later but she just wants a change now.

She sat down across from Cheryl and next to Matt in Cheryl´s office. "I need to talk to both of you. Do not think that I do not like working as a Crisis Negotiator but I need a change. I want to work full-time teaching instead of working in the field." "Why Emily?" "I just need a change Matt." "Emily I will look for a replacement for you." "Thank you mom." She looked at Matt and could see that he was definitely not amused.

"Matt I am sorry that I did not talkt to you before but I just did not know how." "Why?" "I have done negotiating for 13 ywars and also did teaching sometimes. I just need to get out of the field for a while. I promise you that I will come back into the field some day." He looked at Emily and could see that she is very determined. "Honey you have to be happy and comfortable with your decision." "I am Matt." "OK." He leaned forward and kissed her. He hoped that she would be happy with her decision.


	26. Happy Emily

August 2011

Matt had a new partner and Emily was now teaching full-time. Both Matt and Cheryl could see how happy she is. They knew that they had done the right thing by letting her do what she thought was right for her.

He had been sat that she wanted to stop negotiating at first but when he saw how happy she was now he knew that she had done the right thing.

"Matt!" He turned around when he heard Cheryl calling him. "Hey!" "How is it going?" "Good." He looked down and back at Cheryl. "Well I miss Emily in the field but when I see how happy she is I cannot argue." "I know what you mean." "Yeah." They parted ways again and went back to work.

In the evening Emily talked to Matt. "What were you and Cheryl talking about earlier?" "We just talked about you being happy with your decision." "There is more right?" He took her hands in his. "Emily I told her that I miss you in the field but when I see how happy you are in your new job I can hardly argue with you coming back now." She looked at him. "I know that you miss working with me. I miss working with you, too but I am just not able to come back yet." "Relax. You will come back when you are ready." She just nodded and leaned her head against his chest. She had not really told him why she changed jobs but he had an idea that it came from the many cases they had that included parents of young children. It had just been to much and seemed to have worn her out.


	27. Chapter 27

October 2011

Emily has still not told Matt about the reason why she did not want to work in the field anymore. It worried Matt by now after he had been patient for a while. He did not know what would be waiting for him when he would get her to talk to him.

"Emily!" "Hey!" While their dauhgters were playing he wanted to talkt to her. "Why did you really stop working in the field?" "Matt there are more then one reason. But the main reason is that it was just to much emotionally. We had so many desperate parents taking hostages which automatically involved their sometimes still little children, whose parents would get out when they are teens or adults. I just could not do that anymore." "I understand. It is hard for me too sometimes. But it is different for me then for you. I can block things of and we both know that it is harder for you. I understand that you need a change and that you need to live without the emotional turmoil for a while but I hope that you will come back to field work one day." "I will come back some day. But it will take a while." "OK." He wrapped an arm around her knowing that she would make the right decisions for herself.

He knew that things and cases that included children in anyway were hard on Emily but they got harder sionce their daughters had been born. He had seen it coming for a while that she might stop working in the field because the kids or because of the kids that might be involved in some way. He hoped that she would still be happy with her decision in the future. If she was happy he would be happy, too.


	28. Chapter 28

January 2012

When Matt woke up in the morning the place in bed next to him was empty. He got up and searched the house for her. Instead he found a letter that confused him.

"Dear Matt!"

You know that I love you and the girls with every fibre of my being. Please do not be mad at me. I just need to have some time for myself. Please forgive me that I left the girls with you but I need to think and to do that I need to be alone for a while. Please take good care of the kids.

In love

Emily."

He did not know what to make of it and it worried him very much that she left without talking to him. It hurt him but he knew that she sometimes just needed time to herself. He would respect that. He tended to the girls, dropped them of at the Daycare and went to work. At the office Chery told him that Emily took two days of sick leave and would return to work on Monday. Over the next days Matt took care of their three daughters alone. He was surprised when Emily came home on Sunday evening.

After the kids were in bed Emily talked to Matt. "I needed time to thonk and stayed with Lia and Duff for a while. My doctor found something by a routine check an I just needed time to cope with it. I did not know how to deal with it but I will be alright. Matt we will have a baby in September. I am about eight weeks pregnant." "That is a surprise." "I know. Believe me it is not planned." "I know Emily." He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into his chest.

He had to admit that it was a surprise but he knew that Emily was right that they would be alright and that they would cope.


	29. Chapter 29

May 2012

Emily is now five months pregnant. Every of the three former pregnancies have been easy going. This one is definatily not easy going. This pregnancy is hard and unsmoothly so far. That has Matt worried but Emily is freaking out. She is in panic and unrealistic sometimes, or rather said more then often. Matt is really worried about her, more then that about her emotional stability.

"Matt!" Emily came running into Cheryl´s office where she had founf Matt. "Honey calm down." He pushed her down in a chair and knelt down infront of her. "What happened?" "What happened Matt? Are you really asking me that?" She had tears streaming down her face. He cupped her hands with his other.

"Calm down honey. Then tell me what happened." Emily took a few deep breaths. "I was working at my desk and suddenly I stopped feeling our baby. Matt do something please. Please Matt do something." He looked at her and knew that she was desperate to know what is going on. He sat down on a chair next to her. "I will call your doctor and will tell her that we will come by her office." "OK." Emily just leaned into his chest and Matt wrapped and arm around her protectively.

A few minutes later Matt wanted to get up. "Emily I will take you to your doctor now." She just raised her head and looked at him with lost eyes and a scared face. "Honey I will be with you every step of the way. It will be alright." Emily nodded and Matt helped her up.

At the doctor´s office Matt had a hard time keeping Emily sane. She was clinging onto his shirt and protectively holding a hand infront of her bump. Matt arms around her were the only thing she could hold onto. In the exam roon her doctor examined her by doing an ultrasound. "Emily the baby is very active and healthy. It might have slept. It was just a scare." "Are you sure?" Emily asked worried. "Everything is fine Emily." The doctor left the couple alone.

"You heard her Emily our baby is fine." She nodded. "I am sorry that I made you drive me here and that I was such a mess." "It is alright. You are an exoecting mother and are emotional." "Yeah. I am just a lot more emotional then the previous times." He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into his chest. "A pregnancy is never the same so stop blaming yourself. Everything is alright and will be alright. Trust me." "OK."

When she was in bed in the evening Matt called her doctor again to discuss her extreme emotional distress and what to do against it. Her doctor was as worried as Matt was. She knew that Emily needed a stabil emotional support. Matt thought the same way. He knew that she still had four months of the oregnancy infront of her.

When he could he would do everything possible in his power to help her feel better. During this pregnancy she was a total wreck. So he decided to talk to her, about what would allow her to be more relaxed.

"Emily!" He joined her on the couch in the evening. "Emily I am worried about you and the baby." "So am I Matt." He took her hand in his. "Baby we need to think of ways how to get you to be more relaxed and do not freak our that bad in situations like this again." "I do not know how to do it Matt. It is harder then furing the first thee pregnancies. I am out of ideas Matt." He massaged her lower back feeling the tense muscles starting to relax. She leaned into him.

"That better?" "Definatily. Thank you." She felt totally relaxed after he had massaged her. She felt wonderful her fears and worried seemed to be blown away. Matt could see that and knew that he had done the right thing. He decided to meet her more often to massage her to get her to relax. He hoped that it would make the rest of the pregnancy easier for her.


	30. Chapter 30

July 2012

That Matt massaged her often seemed to be helping a little but it sill not helped Emily completely. She was still someone easy to panic and easy to freak. It had gotten better but not good.

It was something that worried Matt because Emily getting worked up could hurt both her and the baby. Emily was now seven months oregnant and a lot of things could cause her to go into labor early.

"Emily!" He joined her on the couch in the evening wanting to talk to her. "Hey!" "Emily we need to talkt." "OK." He gently took her hand in his and looked at her. "Emily your fear and panic had gotten better with me massaging your back but for my liking there are still to much things going on." "I know Matt. But what do you want me to do?" He could read it in her face that she was clueless.

"Emily I know that you seem to have no idea what to do but there has to be something that we can do to help you." "And what?" "Honey you need to think and help yourself here." "I just want this to end." Matt pulled her into a hug. "I know and it will be over in two months Emily." He kissed her temple and let her rest against his chest hoping that she will be alright.


End file.
